by Tim P.
There was a small list of choices for my next BMG assignment and I selected what I thought would retain the most of my remaining dignity. The brows. I went into this with as much knowledge, I would have to say, of what a manzilian wax is, which is to say - none. I’d like to retain the meager droppings of whatever ruggedness I still have left, thank you very much, I said in my head.
Generally, I have a pathological fear of even approaching the realm of “woman stuff”. If there’s talk of mani-pedis I automatically tune out and think about the next episode of Justified. If I hear an inkling of a conversation on skin products, I start thinking about the Giants starting rotation and how they stack up to the Phillies’. I hear spas, I think Starcraft strategies. All of which is to say, I’ve never really thought about how my eyebrows look or how it’s done. Having said all that (as a backhanded way to burnish my guy credentials), I didn’t have much against getting my eyebrows done, at least compared to my other options. However, a quick google image search was done beforehand to give me an idea of what was to happen and the images of the pencil-thin, almost-drawn-on eyebrows gave me pause. Lots of pause.
Anna vA. and I met up at a small, clean and beautifully lit shopfront called Cloud Nine in Oakland where we were met by Alresa. (Editor's note: Alresa looks like Lieutenant Uhura from the new Star Trek movie, or in other words, drop dead gorgeous. I don't know if this made it better or worse for Tim.) We explained what I was doing there (to write about it), and our options on method, wax or threading. It was suggested I go with threading and I concurred, simply because it was less painful. Alresa was incredibly helpful in explaining everything she was doing, including what’s going on with the string and what it would be doing (we even got around to what I can do to combat the dry areas around my eyes).
Not surprisingly, I was most fascinated by the process itself. Now I’m no physics buff. The extent of my knowledge of physics goes as far as what I can remember from high school classes and having watched every episode of The Big Bang Theory. Nonetheless, the physics and history of it all piqued my interest - from how a piece of cotton string, purposefully arranged and moved, could pull off entire chunks of eyebrow follicles (and inflict a tiny amount of pain), to its origins (Indian, supposedly). The pain itself was fairly minimal. The ends and bottoms of my brows were a little more sensitive, but nothing too intense. On a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being a light greeting-punch to the arm and 10 having a shoulder dislocated), it was probably a 2.5. The end result was effective, without being dramatic. A subtle, positive modification that became what I wanted, without me realizing it.
After the deed was done, we walked out. There was a slight breeze, and it actually felt different. I’m not sure how to accurately describe it, but it seemed like there was an extra current that blew underneath my eyebrows. I also noticed, as I investigated with my finger, that the area between my eyes was so smooth! That square inch section of my head had never felt that way before and it felt nice. (I wanted to make it the VIP section of my forehead, but realized it’ll grow back. Damn you hair.) Out of all the assignments, I’d say this is the most likely one I’d do again on my own. Also, I have one less topic to tune out and one more I can join in on.
before
after
*other candidates for the title: browbeaten; what up, brow; brow to brow
