e.g.

doctor love

No More Mr. Nice Guy

Dear Doctor Love,

When I first started dating my boyfriend he was so considerate. He took me out to fancy dinners, bought me flowers, and gave me little gifts. We’ve been together for six months now, but he isn’t as considerate and doesn’t do all the nice things he used to do when we were first dating. I want the guy he used to be, not the guy he is now! What do I do?

No Roses Rachel

Dearest Rachel,

When guys (some guys) begin dating a woman…well, they can lay it on pretty thick. They act the perfect gentleman offering candlelit dinners, poetry, and all kinds of thoughtful gifts. In essence, they spoil you with their shiniest self. You expect this behavior to be consistent throughout the relationship when all the guy was trying to do was get you into his life and then into his bed. Once the guy gets the girl, the novelty wears off. You can’t expect your boyfriend to be the same knight in shining armor he was when you first began dating. What you can and should expect is the same respect and consideration that you received from day one. If you are not receiving those two all important things, I would have second thoughts as to the honesty and integrity of your boyfriend. Hell, I know I lay it on pretty thick when I first meet a woman I dig. I’m just as guilty of becoming less romantic and spontaneous as a relationship goes on. Sometimes, us guys, we need a little nudge to be reminded of the man that we were when we were first courting you (and it never hurts to lead by example - have you bought him flowers lately?). You also have to remember this is no one-way street. Maybe, you are not the same gal you were when you first started dating him. Hmmmm...

Panty Raid

Dear Doctor Love,

I recently found out my boyfriend has been stealing and wearing my panties! In every other way, our relationship is great. But I don’t know if I can handle this. It just seems so gross and wrong to me. What should I do?

Thongs Are For Girls

Dearest T.A.R.G.,

It is interesting when we analyze the prejudices that are perpetuated by the society we work, love, and live in. What is right and wrong? What is masculine or feminine? Isn’t much of what we are and believe in a product of the culture we are a part of? I cannot see anything wrong with a man who likes to wear a woman’s undergarments. I will not guess at the behaviors that reinforced his fetish for wearing a thong or some such variation of a woman’s panties; yet, I’m sure it makes him feel sexy and secure. And what difference is there between wearing a certain set of high heels that make you feel sexy, versus your boyfriend wearing something that makes him feel good?

We live in a culture that lays claim that a man who wears women’s clothes is perverted, twisted, and wrong. If you truly love this man you need to get over your hang-ups. What is more important: the fact you have a great relationship with a wonderful guy, or that you are in a relationship with a guy who wears your latest mail order from Victoria's Secret? If you just can’t get over the “ick factor”, break up with him and his panty fetish (if you do break up with him, it might be awful swell of you to kick him down with some of your surplus panties as a parting gift). I can understand there are certain things that are too much for a person to stomach. Heck, if you choose to stay with him, it might turn shopping for skivvies into a fun and sexy outing. You can turn those lemons into lemonade…or in this case turn those boxer briefs into some frilly satiny g-stringy thing.

Yours,

Doctor Love

 

doctor love

Walk the Walk

Hey Dr. Love,

What makes you think that you have the credentials and ability to advise people on relationships and love?

Signed,

Curious Chris

Dear CC,

This is a question that I’m asked more than any other. Sometimes the query is couched antagonistically, ironically, or simply out of curiosity. So, without further ado, I’ll supply the reasons why I believe I have the credentials and the ability to speak to love.

My collegiate background was in Anthropology and Philosophy, with a dash and a sprinkle of Psychology. During my time in college, one of the fundamental questions I wanted to answer for myself was the idea or ideal of love. I wanted to understand the impact of culture on the individual and how love is expressed within different religious, political, and / or economic systems. Love, in other words, became my pet project that I wanted to understand more than anything else about the human condition. I believe love, and how it is expressed, is one of the most intriguing aspects of being human.

Obviously, my interest in love and relationships didn’t come from nowhere. When I was in grade school I would rather hide in the jungle gyms and kiss the girls than play football or four-square with the other boys. From a very early age, I was fascinated by females. In high school (during my ugly ducking phase),I can recall reading the relationship sections of my mother’s fashion magazines such as Glamour and Bazaar to better understand “what women want in a man.” I was always the romantic…a Don Juan de Marco in my fantastic daydreams during algebra and history classes. It was then that I started to write poetry to those unattainable women - hoping my verse would bring them down from the heavens to my level. And I still write those poems, though they have been tempered by my education and experiences in the field of relationships. In a past relationship, I’d promised to write one hundred poems celebrating my love for that woman. I think I petered out after about 30 or 40 poems…but I’ll have you know I’m still writing them for her, or at least I’m still writing them for an ideal and I’m getting close to one hundred. I always wanted to make a T-shirt that states: I don’t believe in God, but I believe in Women. For as many difficult relationships I’ve had I my life, it is impossible to kill the poet and the romantic in me. Even as I grow older, I’ll never give up on the hope of a true love…or another true love.

I believe my most important credential in advising folks on love and relationships is simply put: failure. I’ve failed in numerous relationships with women. With each failure I learned a little bit more about what I needed and what a woman needed to make a relationship work…trial & error. I can even remember being in relationships and knowing that I was making critical errors that would lead to the demise of that love. Yet, I was either too tired or too apathetic to make the changes that would have saved the relationship. I guarantee you that if any of my past relations were to read my column they would say, “he was nothing like that when we were together.” And they would be right. The beginnings of relationships are all cloud stepping and silly grins. As the relationship progresses, or if you marry, that is when you have to put in work to maintain that passion and fun that was found at the beginning of a relationship.

I’ve made love and relationships the study of my solitary life. I’ve studied it in books, both scientific and romantic, and been in many failed relationships; every day I'm learning more about relationships, love, and women. I’ve used up reams and reams of paper writing poems and prose about love. What more can I say? You either dig what I’m laying down or you can completely disagree with everything I write. I’m trying so hard to walk the walk that I talkie talkie, so that when I do meet that someone I can pull from all the knowledge I’ve accumulated on this subject. From a completely selfish standpoint, writing this column gives me the ability to put my thoughts on love in a form in which I can see how far I’ve come in my understanding on the topic. For this, I have to thank my readers for giving me this opportunity to better understand myself in the context of human relationships. So, dear readers, thank you, and keep sending me questions and giving me the feedback that further validates my own education in love. And to those curious about my poetry…a poem that encapsulates what I'm speaking to.

 

A Poem For A Cup Of Tea

There is a song, songs sometimes.

I’ll hum them to you, for you,

about you, tonight. Or if you would like,

a today with you in it - out of it -

would you get bored because of it?

Of this song, songs sometimes that I hum

alone thinking of a broken teakettle, the one

that would burn with a whistle,

an itchy thistle, a tea drop,

the color of my eye, a cola soda pop,

it turns and rolls with tumbleweeds

but you see, you get me so confused.

I look at my speech when I talk.

I look at my speech, watch the balloons

of this silly Sunday funny, me talking to you.

If I could only hum them to you, for you, about you,

that this me wouldn’t break and would whistle once again,

maybe twice.

In a fantastical world that accepts tea for a poem, sung beneath the

slant, the gap between my teeth and sweetened by a sugar cube

of you, always above it.

Love,

Doctor Love

P.S. If you publish this poem without my explicit permission, I will hunt you down like the bad, bad donkey you are. I have a lawyer. But if you're a publisher and you're interested in seeing more of my work, please contact me via COMMENTS. Peace.

doctor love - valentine's edition

Do you think you could...?

My boyfriend is very romantic and tender in the bedroom. Sometimes I wish he would just passionately take me, rather than being so gentle with me. How can I get my boyfriend to be more vocal, physical, and dare I say, rough in our sex?

Sally S.

Silly Sally,

You know, it ain’t easy being a “nice guy.” We try our best to be a kind, thoughtful lover. We try to remember important calendar dates of items pertaining to the relationship. We try not eat the last cookie in the cookie jar. We try to put the toilet lid down and squeeze the toothpaste from the back to the front while keeping the top securely screwed on after we’re done using it. We try not to balk when you ask us to watch movies that we had hoped we would never ever have to watch in our lifetimes. We go out in social situations and meet your friends and keep our true feelings about your best friend to ourself. We try not wear the ratty boxers with glow in the dark bananas if think we might be getting some sweet love that night. There’s just too much to keep track of.

As men, or rather as this man (as I would never state that my voice was the voice of all males everywhere), it is difficult to separate respect from love. When you love and respect the person you’re having sex with, it can be difficult to be “dirty” in the bedroom. When we are boys we are often taught masturbation is a dirty thing. Any items to spice up that masturbation, from pornographic magazines to the newest Victoria’s Secret catalog, is also taboo and dirty. For some men, it's a challenge to separate that respect from the act of making love. How can we call this woman we love and respect a “dirty little whore,” or a “hot ass bitch,” while making love to them?

If you want your boyfriend to be more rough and vocal in the bedroom, you’re going to have to discuss it with him. It would be best to work on these things in stages. The first time, ask him to be more vocal. The second time, ask him to be more rough and physical. As he gets used to the idea of doing such things with you, he will get more comfortable with it. He will have to learn that it is okay to respect and love you while still pulling on your hair and calling you his, “horny little sperm spanker.”

Be Safe,

Doctor Love

 

It’s Not Queer To Be Gay

I’ve been in a relationship with a guy for a couple of years. A few days ago, he told me he thinks he might be gay and wants to explore that possibility. He says he doesn’t want to lose me in his explorations of being gay…especially if he finds that it isn’t what he was hoping for. I love him so much and I don’t want to lose him. What can I do?

Marissa T.

Oh, Marissa,

There is nothing wrong with exploring your sexuality. What is wrong, fundamentally wrong, is choosing to stay in a relationship with someone who wants to try batting from the other side of the base while you wait it out. If you are in a monogamous relationship with a person, and that person elects to have sex with somone else - it's called cheating, and it breaks the bond of intimacy and trust you have gained in your time together. Your boyfriend cannot maintain an intimate relationship with you while he explores the possibility of being gay or bisexual.

Obviously, there is more to being gay than the sex. Albeit, if you are both willing there are a ton of sexual accoutrements on the market that you can purchase at your local sex shop to give him an opportunity to simulate, to a certain degree, gay sex. Of course, this is obviously not the real thing…but maybe he just wants a little prostrate stimulation or a little role play to add some spice to the bedroom. There is absolutely nothing weird or wrong about doing such things…and heck, you might find you enjoy just as much as he does. Just trying to provide you with some options.

If your boyfriend continues in his quest to determine his sexual affiliation, you need to take care of yourself. It isn’t fair to have you waiting while he is trying on the dicks for size. If you are strong enough, leave the relationship and see how it plays out for him. If it isn’t what he wants, you can return to the relationship if you haven’t found someone else to be with by that time. But if I was you, I’d just leave his ass. Anyone that wants someone that they supposedly care for, or even love, to wait while they screw around with other people is a selfish prick…period.

Yours,

Doctor Love

doctor love

by Glen S.

No No To Under The Mistletoe

I'm new to relationships and kissing. What makes a good kisser? My first / current boyfriend jams his tongue down my throat and painfully smacks his teeth against mine. He also slobbers all over me when we kiss. - Stephanie B .

Dear Stephanie,

It sounds like you have yourself a mouthbreeder there; a person who jams their tongue down your throat like its a creature trying to impregnate you through your mouth. The act of kissing is not simply about the mouth, the lips and tongue. Kissing is the ability to use all five senses in the sharing of breath. It is about touch, sight, taste, smell, and sound. A great kisser incorporates all of the senses in their kisses. For example, if you’ve just ate a truckload of garlic, your kisses are going to smell and taste downright nasty. Another example is sound…you will hear the range of emotion you’re inciting in the person you’re kissing. Whether that reaction is good or bad depends on the ability to fuse all those senses into one act.

The mouth could be seen as a delicate flower, which reveals its full bloom with the right care and consideration. It isn’t necessary to go running pell mell to the other person’s mouth with your tongue hanging out. Delicate kisses, without tongue, to the hairline, forehead, temples, cheeks, chin, ears, and neck are a much better place to start than straight to the grill with your tongue like some sort of spit shiny phallic juggernaut. It is also about the ability to use your hands, as well as your mouth. The hands and fingers are such a crucial part of the kissing experience. And I’m not talking about hands on the breasts or the who-ha, I’m talking about hands running through hair, hands supporting the neck, and hands with fingers gently stroking the face. Your hands may end up on other parts, but again this is something you slowly work your way up to rather than focus on from the start.

The art of kissing is a matter of degrees, a heightening of senses. Kissing is not getting to first base…rather kissing is the base by which all physicality and intimacy grows.

Affectionately,

Doctor Love

Its Not Gay To Be Queer

I’ve been in a relationship with a guy for over two years. A few days ago, he told me he thinks he might be gay and wants to explore that possibility. He says he doesn’t want to lose me in his explorations… especially if he finds that it isn’t what he was hoping for. I love him so much and I don’t want to lose him. What can I do? -Marissa T.

Dearest Marissa, 

There is nothing wrong with exploring your sexuality. What is wrong, fundamentally wrong, is being asked to choose to stay in a relationship with someone who wants to try batting from the other side of the base. In a monogamous relationship, when your partner chooses to have sex with someone else, it breaks the bond of intimacy and trust you have gained in your time together. Your boyfriend cannot maintain an intimate relationship with you while he explores the possibility of being gay or bisexual.

 

Obviously there is more to being gay than sex. Albeit, if you are both willing, there are a ton of sexual accoutrements on the market that you can purchase at your local sex shop to give him an opportunity to simulate, to a certain degree, gay sex. Of course, this is obviously not the real thing…but maybe he just wants a little prostate stimulation or a little role play to add some spice to the bedroom. There is absolutely nothing weird or wrong about doing such things…and heck, you might find you enjoy this just as much as he does.

 

If your boyfriend continues in his quest to determine his sexual affiliation, you need to take care of yourself. It isn’t fair to have you waiting while he is trying on the dicks for size. If you are strong enough, leave the relationship and see how it plays out for him. If it isn’t what he wants, you can return to the relationship if you desire. But if I was you, I’d just leave his ass. Anyone that wants someone that they supposedly care for, or even love, to wait while they screw around with other people is a selfish prick…period.

Yours,

Doctor Love

Let Down Your Hair

All my life I’ve had long hair to the small my back. I’ve been thinking about cutting my hair short, but my current boyfriend has threatened to break-up with me if I do it. What should I do? - Elisa L.

Sweet Elisa,

What is it about long hair that makes so many men weak? When I see long hair on a woman, it brings out the poet in me, and I want to write verse to her in iambic pentameter. It doesn’t matter the color: brown, black, red, blonde, gray, blue, green…whatever. As long as the hair is healthy and there are no nests with birds flying from it, “it is on.” Some men are into legs, breasts, and the ass. I’ve always been a hair man. It seems to bring forth some primordial aspect of my human male nature. I want to bury myself in those scented locks and call it home. Maybe, there is some anthropological caveman mentality to it. Nonetheless, it is a matter of preference…in this case, my preference. Preference is a reference point to motivate us to ask that guy or gal on a date, or to begin a relationship with. Preferences range from the physical to enjoying the same activities or music. The most important preferences fall within the realm of items such as kindness, generosity, understanding, stability, trustworthiness, passion, gregariousness, etc. Finding a person who has all the preferences you like is nearly impossible. It takes a certain capitalistic view on relationships when it comes to preferences.  Your boyfriend may be a great lover with nice hands, but can be selfish and has a hard time holding down a job. You have to weigh what is most important to you with what you can overlook or at least tolerate.  If the things that you don’t prefer about him eclipse what you do prefer, it could be time to seek another fish (if you catch my drift, my tidal wave).

Your boyfriend threatening to break-up with you over the length of your hair is superficial male chauvinistic prickness. As much as I dig women with long hair, I know that if I had a girlfriend and she decided to chop those locks, I wouldn’t love her any less. Obviously, we are often attracted to persons based on what we see physically. This physical attraction may get our attention from across a dimly lit nightclub and may get us to offer to buy such person their next Red Bull & Vodka, but physical attraction can't maintain a relationship. It is all the elements, all those preferences, that make up a person’s person, both inside and outside, that make for strong relationships.

If I were you, I would evaluate all the reasons your boyfriend is in a relationship with you. If these reasons are as plebian as the length of your hair…I’d be looking not just to cut your hair, I’d be looking to cut that boyfriend loose.

xoxo,

Doctor Love

 

doctor love

by Glen S. 

Flexible, Fun & Flirty

I started yoga to meet single men who care about their lifestyle. I'm interested in one particular guy, but I can't seem to get his attention. What should I do? -Sharon P.  

There are probably a plethora of reasons why you've not had any movement in the general direction of this gentleman. It is quite possible he is a) married; b) in an exclusive relationship; c) gay; d) he is completely focused on the yoga to the exclusion of all outside stimuli which would be....you; e) "he's just not that into you."

Might I suggest placing your yoga mat in front of him? If you do, make sure your downward dog is downward in such a manner that your ass is lined up 3D-Technicolor style for his viewing pleasure. But if you suddenly hear, "Oh Lord Jesus, the caboose...the caboose is loose!" You may want to try a more discrete approach, for example, catching him after class and remarking on the ease / difficulty of said class. In such a conversation, you could then see if he wanted to get a Jamba Juice or offer him a Tiger Balm rub down. If none of these things work, refer back to items A - E. Then get yourself hooked up with Match.com with the rest of us poor, sad bastards where you can lie about your height, weight, and love for foreign movies.

Affectionately,

Doctor Love

The Other Female Dog

I've been dating this guy and I really like him and hope that we will be together for a long time. The problem is that he has this dog that drives me crazy. It sleeps on the bed, gets on the couch, and he even lets the dog stay in the bedroom when we have sex! How can I get him to get rid of the damn dog? -Karen V.

This is a very touchy subject indeed...and I must proclaim my prejudice, as I am also a dog owner who unashamedly believes that the sun rises and sets on my unconditional love for that pampered pooch. It has been hypothesized that in cultures that lack strong familial/social bonds, that other countries/cultures have, we turn our affection from persons to things such as dogs, cats, birds, gerbils, and goldfish. And I am guilty of such a notion.  

If you truly wish for this relationship to flourish you'll need to find a way to connect with the dog. You have to take time to do things one-on-one with the mutt. Take it out for walks (a dog park if one is handy) or to a cafe with outdoor seating. You may find an affection for that dog that hasn't yet developed, or at least have a deeper understanding of your boyfriend's relationship with the dog. There is something to be said about a person who takes on the responsibility of caring and nurturing a pet that bodes well for the character of that person.

If you press him to get rid of the dog, it may be that you'll be the female dog he removes from his life. The thing though...about the dog in the same room when you're doing the nasty..you need to put your foot down on that agenda, its just gross.

Yours,

Doctor Love

We've Got The Ill Communication 

I've been with the same guy for the past couple of years and nothing has changed in the relationship. We've never talked about the next steps. He told me he loved me once when he was about to pass out. I want to know what his intentions are so that I can make decisions on what I need to do. How do I find these things out? - Tiffany D.

 

Sometimes in relationships we get to point where it is just...comfortable. The relationship may not be great, but it is good. Of course, what is a great relationship? What is it, personally, that you are seeking that will turn a good relationship into a great relationship? A comfortable relationship without all the added accoutrement of living together, talks of marriage, and a shared bank account can make for peaceful, easy partnership. Unfortunately, as we are all want to do, we start to think about the permanence of the relationships that we are in. And the longer the relationship stays on that steady course of not rocking the boat with the love and marriage word being thrown around, the more difficult it gets to broach such subjects. It is like you are at a huge mall staring at the directory trying to figure out how to get to Nordstroms from Barnes & Nobles...you just want to know where you are and how to get to where you want to go.

 

If you are looking to change the dynamics of your relationship you're going to have to communicate with your partner. With many people the idea of love and relationships are as phobic as heights, spiders, and clowns. Nonetheless, if you are going to get to level up in your relationship, you are going to have to communicate all of your ideas and fears to this man. From these discussions you can then make an educated decision on what you need to do, what you need for yourself, and what this person can and cannot offer you in those realms. 

Bon Chance,

Doctor Love

Send e.g. your questions for Doctor Love. He's gonna make it alright.

around the corner

amanda levete console

• One of the final installments of an Accutane Diary. Find out how Anna vA. feels about the highs and lows of this controversial drug.
  
• Is it Boy Meets Girl or Girl Meets Boy? You decide, when this battle of the sexes is revealed in August.
  
• More, more, more from Doctor Love.
  
• Kim H. has something to say, so you better listen!
• Pics, posts, and poetics. Don't forget to share the blog with your friends & enemies. xx
  

doctor love

by Glen S.  
KISS MY CULTURE

I've been with this guy for a few months and we're thinking about moving in together. I know it seems rushed, but we're really happy. As with any love story, there is always an issue: our parents are opposed to us sharing a roof because of our different religious & cultural upbringing. He was raised in a Jewish household, while I was raised in a Mormon household. Neither of us are practicing, but both sets of parents are devout. They ALL agree that we have too many differences to make a good match.  -Which Way?

Dear WW:  Why is it that when I say "Jew" or hear someone else say, "Jew", I feel like it's a racial slur? Yet, it sounds fine when someone states, "I'm a Jew." And when I say the word "Mormon", I quickly envision spaceships soaring...or am I getting my Mormonism confused with my Christian Scientology? My Joseph Smith confused with my L. Ron Hubbard? I digress...We all deal with our own personal cultural and religious bias. It is a part of human nature to categorize the world, to compartmentalize the world with our senses. Our preconceived notions can be about a religious affiliation, cultural group, or a subculture. For example, what pops into your head when I say a football player, a video game player, or just player?

The important thing here, isn’t whether both sets of parents are enlightened enough to accept the beauty of cultural and religious differences. What is important is whether you and your boyfriend can accept and rejoice in these differences between each other. You both need to spend time communicating and even researching these differences. I’ve also found, in my own personal experiences, that the "little things" that a couple have in common are often what makes for a solid relationship. Do you both enjoy bookstores, quiet walks on the beach, and chic cafes that serve strong espresso? Or do you like to vacation in Cancun or Hawaii, dancing in clubs that serve Red Bull & Vodka, and rock climbing with a hangover the next day? You can feel free to waste your time looking at the vast differences, or you can begin investing in the things that you connect with.

There is no way of getting around the parents' involvement in your relationship if you decide to live with each other. What you and your boyfriend can decide is the impact upon which your parents' own bias effect how you feel about each other. The most important bit of advice I can offer is this: if you haven’t met your boyfriend’s parents yet (and I’m going to guess that this will be in the form of a dinner), and if you happen to spill your drink or stub your toe, please refrain from yelling, "JESUS CHRIST!" You can say "f*ck," but please just don’t say, "Jesus Christ!" You'll thank me.

Yours,
Doctor Love

...IN THE HAND...IN THE BUSH

I’ve been seeing two men over the last few months. Fellow #1 is amazing behind closed doors, but we don’t have anything in common outside of the bedroom. Fellow #2 is a bore in bed, but we have a lot in common and have a great time when we go out. I’m getting pressured by both guys to become exclusive, and I'm having a tough time deciding who to pick. What would you do?   -Indecisive in Idaho

Dear III:  Your question raises more questions for me: Are these two "fellows" aware that you are intimate with another person? Are these two "fellows" currently being intimate with other persons? Are you, Indecisive in Idaho,practicing safe sex? I wonder how hip these dudes would be to a more exclusive relationship if they knew that you were sleeping with another guy? I wonder how hip you would be to the idea that these guys might be sleeping with other women? And the biggest question of all, "are you ready for an exclusive relationship with either of these two men or anyone at all at this stage of your life?"

Back to your question: which man do you choose? Regarding Fellow #1 - Sex is an important part of any relationship, and having great sex is obviously a component to having a great relationship. There are probably many reasons why sex is great with that specific individual. Maybe he's passionate and wild in the bedroom, or maybe he is sweet and tender in his loving. These are things that can be taught to a fellow who is open to a bit of kind instruction in the bedroom. It would be more difficult - scratch that - it would be impossible to teach a man to connect with you on an intellectual and emotional level, while it's entirely do-able (see how I did that?) to teach a man how you would like to be...manipulated (?). You could always try telling both Fellows about each other and get a quick, decisive reaction out of that. However you do elect to proceed with this advice, please have these conversations in a crowded restaurant / bar / café and let me know the location so I can be "a fly on the wall". I wouldn’t want to miss these conversations "for the world, for the world darling."

Yours,
Doctor Love


Señor PENIS

I’m interested in dating a woman that I work with. She seems receptive to the idea of going out with me, but I’m concerned about the issues that may come up at work. Should I ask her out, or does it seem like too much trouble?  -Solo @ the Cooler

Dear S@C:  Dating / having relationships with persons you work with can be challenging, for sure. After you graduate from college, you are somewhat limited to meeting potential dates at work, or a bar. You must proceed with caution, and thoroughly think through the decision to date a coworker. This is a person that will not only be a part of your professional life, but also a part of your private life. You must always be aware of how you act toward each other when you are working. It can be very uncomfortable for your fellow coworkers if you are constantly necking by the Xerox machine, and they're trying to discuss the intricacies of last night's Lost episode. There is also the possibility that your company has a strict policy against dating your colleagues. If your company frowns upon this, you’ll have to decide if the risk is worth the reward during these difficult economic times.

If you do decide to start dating and it develops into a relationship, you also have to be aware of the possibility that it could end…and end horribly. I don’t care what promises you discuss in lieu of this possibility. When people get their hearts broken it can lend itself to some extreme behavior. The kind of extreme behavior that can explode Molotov Cocktail style all over the work place, engulfing all fellow employees in hellish flames and shattered glass. Then you have to see this woman, five days a week. This woman who has seen your penis. If you think you can deal with all such possibilities in a healthy adult manner, I say there is no harm in a date.

Yours,
Doctor Love