No More Mr. Nice Guy
Dear Doctor Love,
When I first started dating my boyfriend he was so considerate. He took me out to fancy dinners, bought me flowers, and gave me little gifts. We’ve been together for six months now, but he isn’t as considerate and doesn’t do all the nice things he used to do when we were first dating. I want the guy he used to be, not the guy he is now! What do I do?
No Roses Rachel
Dearest Rachel,
When guys (some guys) begin dating a woman…well, they can lay it on pretty thick. They act the perfect gentleman offering candlelit dinners, poetry, and all kinds of thoughtful gifts. In essence, they spoil you with their shiniest self. You expect this behavior to be consistent throughout the relationship when all the guy was trying to do was get you into his life and then into his bed. Once the guy gets the girl, the novelty wears off. You can’t expect your boyfriend to be the same knight in shining armor he was when you first began dating. What you can and should expect is the same respect and consideration that you received from day one. If you are not receiving those two all important things, I would have second thoughts as to the honesty and integrity of your boyfriend. Hell, I know I lay it on pretty thick when I first meet a woman I dig. I’m just as guilty of becoming less romantic and spontaneous as a relationship goes on. Sometimes, us guys, we need a little nudge to be reminded of the man that we were when we were first courting you (and it never hurts to lead by example - have you bought him flowers lately?). You also have to remember this is no one-way street. Maybe, you are not the same gal you were when you first started dating him. Hmmmm...
Panty Raid
Dear Doctor Love,
I recently found out my boyfriend has been stealing and wearing my panties! In every other way, our relationship is great. But I don’t know if I can handle this. It just seems so gross and wrong to me. What should I do?
Thongs Are For Girls
Dearest T.A.R.G.,
It is interesting when we analyze the prejudices that are perpetuated by the society we work, love, and live in. What is right and wrong? What is masculine or feminine? Isn’t much of what we are and believe in a product of the culture we are a part of? I cannot see anything wrong with a man who likes to wear a woman’s undergarments. I will not guess at the behaviors that reinforced his fetish for wearing a thong or some such variation of a woman’s panties; yet, I’m sure it makes him feel sexy and secure. And what difference is there between wearing a certain set of high heels that make you feel sexy, versus your boyfriend wearing something that makes him feel good?
We live in a culture that lays claim that a man who wears women’s clothes is perverted, twisted, and wrong. If you truly love this man you need to get over your hang-ups. What is more important: the fact you have a great relationship with a wonderful guy, or that you are in a relationship with a guy who wears your latest mail order from Victoria's Secret? If you just can’t get over the “ick factor”, break up with him and his panty fetish (if you do break up with him, it might be awful swell of you to kick him down with some of your surplus panties as a parting gift). I can understand there are certain things that are too much for a person to stomach. Heck, if you choose to stay with him, it might turn shopping for skivvies into a fun and sexy outing. You can turn those lemons into lemonade…or in this case turn those boxer briefs into some frilly satiny g-stringy thing.
Yours,
Doctor Love
